The Oxford dictionary defines:

WINNING, as gaining, resulting in, or relating to victory…

LOSING, as failing to win a game or contest, and…

LOSER, as a person who is generally unsuccessful in life.

I define WINNING as having the ability to successfully deal with NOT winning, or losing.  Winning is the easy part.  We have a goal, we plan, we work hard, and we execute.

There is no magic formula to winning.  However, there is a magic formula to not winning, or as many would say, losing.

In all my years of parenting, coaching sports, and teaching martial arts, I have not seen many individuals, from children to adults, who could successfully manage not winning. I understand no one wants to lose, including myself.  However, I have spent my life attempting to successfully manage not winning all the time, and passing that knowledge to ...]]> WINNING- LOSING- LOSER

The Oxford dictionary defines:

WINNING, as gaining, resulting in, or relating to victory…

LOSING, as failing to win a game or contest, and…

LOSER, as a person who is generally unsuccessful in life.

I define WINNING as having the ability to successfully deal with NOT winning, or losing.  Winning is the easy part.  We have a goal, we plan, we work hard, and we execute.

There is no magic formula to winning.  However, there is a magic formula to not winning, or as many would say, losing.

In all my years of parenting, coaching sports, and teaching martial arts, I have not seen many individuals, from children to adults, who could successfully manage not winning. I understand no one wants to lose, including myself.  However, I have spent my life attempting to successfully manage not winning all the time, and passing that knowledge to my students, both adults and children.

What I mean by successfully managing not winning, losing, or failing, is accepting the fact that losing is a natural dynamic of life. This is the first step. This first step is only accomplished by properly defining what losing or failing is, and more importantly, what it is not!  When we don’t win, we’re not a “loser” or a “failure.”  When we lose, we have a window to reevaluate the situation, come up with a stronger plan, work at it very hard, and then execute it again.  A long time ago a mentor told me that, “A big shot is a little shot that keeps shooting.”  If you are an adult, you are very aware that there are many more losses in life than there are wins, whether you’re playing the lottery, dealing with personal issues, and or making a living. It is how we manage all these tests of life that will determine our final outcome.

So how does this all relate to the martial arts? As an adult student, training in martial arts gives us a tool, both physically and mentally, to extend our internal and external strength, therefore giving us one more powerful tool to determine that final outcome. It gives us the strength to stare down the throat of adversity and pain, and attack it head on. It helps us to be a true warrior in life.

For our children, there is no better training I could suggest than our Life Skills program, which we so diligently work to instill in your children.

One of these components is to assist you as parents in helping your child to understand what the rules and adversities of life are, and how to manage them.

We as parents know that our children will strike out at home plate, will not get all A’s, will not make the goal in soccer, will not make the touch down, will not be the best at the recital, will not be one of the 4 medal or trophy recipients. I know I didn’t.  There’s more, but you get the idea.

The good news is that they can WIN and they can learn how to turn defeat into victory. However, that will only happen if they learn how to manage the art of not winning all the time.  We can help them turn loss into a positive, and move forward.

We build leaders, not followers. We build warriors, not winners.

They will WIN with the tools that they have been taught, making the most of their own abilities.

This is who WE are, this how WE do it, and you and your children are why DO IT.

Sincerely,

Grandmaster Steve DeMasco, PhD

Remember to register for the Regional tryouts for the 2012 Olympics, all the new combinations and forms that are coming your way could be the one you want to perform in June.

So keep up the hard work and we will see you at the next advancement on April 28th.

In the past two weeks, one teen attempted suicide here in New Hampshire, and another in Ohio went into his school, killed several students, and injured many.  All had been bullied.

In the past two weeks I have had requests to speak at two schools in NH, one large federal agency in Boston, and the FBI has asked me to help with inner city schools in the Boston area, all related to bullying and school violence. This is just a fraction of the bullying situation nationally.

We at SDSS work very hard to educate, help, and mentor our school age children to understand the many forms of bullying and how to deal with the bully.

However, we have limited power. The real problem is how the schools nationwide deal with this issue.

Let’s look at what has worked; NOTHING! We all know ...]]> BULLYING (Parent Advisory)

In the past two weeks, one teen attempted suicide here in New Hampshire, and another in Ohio went into his school, killed several students, and injured many.  All had been bullied.

In the past two weeks I have had requests to speak at two schools in NH, one large federal agency in Boston, and the FBI has asked me to help with inner city schools in the Boston area, all related to bullying and school violence. This is just a fraction of the bullying situation nationally.

We at SDSS work very hard to educate, help, and mentor our school age children to understand the many forms of bullying and how to deal with the bully.

However, we have limited power. The real problem is how the schools nationwide deal with this issue.

Let’s look at what has worked; NOTHING! We all know that most of the schools in the country have what they call a “zero tolerance policy.”  This means that regardless of who is the bully or victim, if both get into a physical confrontation, both are suspended.

Let’s look at that. One of our children is continually bullied on a daily basis at school. Finally the victim can’t take it anymore, fights back, and the victim is suspended.

Another big problem is that many educators don’t have a clear definition what bullying is.

Next, if you ask the kids that are bullied if others have witnessed them being bullied, many will respond, “yes.” If you ask them if of the onlookers attempted to stop the bully, many will respond, “no.”

Every week there is school violence associated with bullying. It is a national epidemic and it is getting worse, resulting in death and injury.

Until schools adopt a fool-proof system to deal with the bully and the victim, this problem will continue and escalate.

I have attempted for years to help with this problem, with little to no results. They all like what I have to say because I don’t point fingers, and I offer sound advice.  However, little has changed.

I don’t blame the schools for this.  In order to deal with this problem effectively they will have to adopt very new policies. This takes time, change, and money for staff training. As we all know, doing this in public and private schools is extremely difficult.

In closing I want to say that all our SDSS Instructors, Master Meyer, and myself will always be available to help our students and parents with any and all issues.

A reminder, our reigistration for the 2012 Olympics has begun, regionals will be in June!!! Stop by the office and see me or Sensei Sarah for your reistration forms.

Sincerely,

Vincent Sodders

Steve DeMasco’s Shaolin Studios

Thank you for participating, and we look forward to reading your paragraphs.

We need the best Four Leaf Cloverss you can make to put on our walls and the top 3 will win a very special prize. All of the Clovers should be done by the 17th of March in time for our St. Patrick Day Party being held at the Dojo on Saturday from 3-5 pm. Please see an Instructor for details.